HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! NO REALLY!!

What in the world is happening with Mother's Day!?  I was amazed, mystified, and somewhat amused all last week.  The run-up to Mother's Day was a major extravaganza...on steroids!  It seems to me that, this year more than any other, Mother's Day surpassed the over-the-topness of Christmas.

The television and newspapers ads were kind of what I'd expect.  Their job is to get you to spend as much as you can on a Mother in your life or, clearly, you're not a good person.  A card, a bouquet of flowers, or a loving visit are definitely not enough.  Advertising does this every year, though it seemed a little dialed up this year.  The gifts were more lavish, with at least one ad suggesting that Mom deserves a new car!

People on Facebook were encouraged to "show their love" for their Moms by posting a picture of her. I thought it was a cute gesture, but then it started to seem a little forced.  If you didn't do it, are you an unappreciative daughter? (This seemed targeted to women for some reason).    

Every one of the morning news shows and daytime talk shows, every single day last week, had a segment (or three) of all kinds of people proclaiming, repeatedly, their love, love, love for their mothers on national tv. The more excessive, the better.  Last week, every mother was perfect.  Nobody had a shaky relationship with their Mom, everyone was blessed with a paragon of virtue and goodness.  

What really tripped me up, though, was the number of people who wished me a Happy Mother's Day on Sunday.  I'm not a mother. I didn't mind it, but I did think it odd.  New Yorkers, who barely speak to each other on a normal day, were saluting total strangers with Happy Mother's Day.  Honestly, this happened to me 9-10 times.  I decided I must really look like a Mother until I heard from my sister and my friend Cece (neither of whom are Mothers) that the same thing had happened to them in Washington, DC where they live. 


Is it the assumption that every woman is a Mother...or would it just be too awful to overlook a Mother, so we just say it to everyone lest we not give someone her due?

When did Motherhood reach iconic status...in such public and exaggerated way?  Motherhood used to just be what women did.  Now it's larger than life.


I don't really know what this is about, but I can't help but wonder if it's not more than a coincidence that all this celebratory celebration is happening at the same time that a spate of articles and books are being published revealing that for many women Motherhood is harder, more stressful, and more depressing than they thought it'd be. A teeny tiny sampling:

• Time Magazine's Why Having Kids is Foolish
• New York Magazine's All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting
• Naomi Wolf's Misconceptions About Motherhood
• The Book for Angry Moms

 At the same time that some brave women are admitting that this Motherhood thing ain't all it's cracked up to be, we're on the counter-attack to prove them wrong.  Why??  Isn't it ok for a woman not to be a Mother?  And isn't it okay for some women to admit they're not having a grand time with it?  What does it mean that we feel so compelled to concoct a myth rather than just live in truth?








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