Saturday, April 30, 2011

Cyrano and Me

My friend, K, really wants to be married.  She's a lovely woman, a lot more conservative than I am, and she always believed marriage and kids should be part of her life.   Since she wants that, I want that for her.   And that's how this story began.  K went to a Speed Dating event hoping to meet the man who might become her husband.   She met a guy.  Actually she met two guys and that's how her troubles started.   By the way, this is one way that she and I are different.  If I met two guys, I'd think "Absolutely! Always have a spare".   K meets two guys and thinks she has to pick one. 

But first she has to decide which one, so she goes on a date with each one so she can learn enough to inform her decision regarding which one should be The One.  I'm thinking, "just date them both", but she won't listen to me.   Long story short, she picked the wrong one.   She also didn't handle passing on the other one so well, so he stopped speaking to her.

A year goes by and she's still talking about The One That Got Away.   But she's just talking about it.  She won't call him or write him or Tweet him...nuthin.   She's talking about it and I'm sick of hearing about it.   So the next time she brings it up, I tell her it's time to put-up-or-shut-the-eff-up!  My thinking is, reach out to the guy, apologize for whatever happened, tell him you've thought about him from time to time, and would like a second chance.  But K is too shy to do that.  

I really thought she should call him. Their reconciliation would make a great story and I could tell it in the toast I'd give at their wedding.  She was too embarrassed to call, so I "convinced" her to email him.   Except she wouldn't.  We spent the whole dang afternoon talking about the email she wouldn't write.  And that's when I took matters into my own hands.   If Cyrano de Bergerac can do it, why can't I?


So I drafted what I'm sure was a lighthearted, charming and heartfelt note and sent it to him from K's email address.   She was both mortified and kind of excited.  I was very pleased with myself.   I told her she could treat me to dinner after their date.   Except there was no date.  She never heard from him.  He didn't respond to my her note.  And she felt embarrassed all over again, cringing from the rejection.  But we don't really know; maybe he's dead.



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5 comments:

Josie said...

Ah well. At least you tried. Did your friend go speed dating again? Sure there are many more men out there. . . says the woman who hasn't had a date for 2 weeks. . .
Josie x

Cham said...

Absolutely, you did the right thing. Not because you did what she couldn't do, you were concerned about her welfare, and you want her to live and grow as a human being and find her happiness with "the one".

You did the right thing because this woman was wasting valuable hours of your life bellyaching about this fool. You were spending valuable minutes of cell phone time, money you can't afford to spend right now listening to this woman flap her gums incessantly while taking absolutely no constructive action to effect a resolution. Rather than listen to her you have spare time to crochet, knit, scrapbook or pick the lint out of your naval. You have done yourself a wonderful service.

Me, I would have taken 10 seconds to tell her to call, email or text the guy, and then told her I didn't want to hear any more about it. Eleanore, you are way too nice a human being.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said
And why does she think he is "the one"; just because "the other one" didn't work out? Sounds like neither one was the one and it is time to move on, go speed dating again, get an introduction from a friend or whatever else she does to meet men. A year later and she is still talking about him...

Single Girl said...

Lesson learned. Now she knows to just date them both:) -SG

eleanore said...

@Cham: You are too funny. I didn't think I was being nice...I was trying to make better use of my time!

@Anonymous: really good point. There is no reason whatsoever to think he might be The One...but she really wouldn't know if she couldn't get up the nerve to reach out to him. Geez...