Apologies for this post. Apologies to you, dear reader, who might find it in poor taste and apologies to the woman who wrote me asking for my advice, in case she feels I embarrassed her. I'm often asked for advice; I usually respond off-line, but sometimes I post about it. (See Life's Too Short and Short Stint As An Advice Columnist). I'm not a professional in this regard, I'm just a woman with an opinion. This time, though, I was stumped. Not so much about what to do in the immediate situation, but more about the subtext.
So, here's what I'm going to do. Below is the letter. I'm asking you guys to answer it:
"I'm sitting at a bar by myself and I just ordered a cocktail after a hectic week. I'm shocked this was my first one in a few days. That's so unlike me. That just shows how busy I've been. I do not mind sitting alone but two really fat women just sat next to me. Is it wrong if I move? I'm hoping some cute boy might come along and buy me a drink. That's less likely to happen with [these big women*] sitting next to me." (*I re-worded a disparaging term for something more neutral].
What would you have said, if you received this note? I'm dying to "hear".
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Heaven help me: Snooki’s winning.
That crazy-like-a-fox hoochie on MTV’s The Jersey Shore—in an ironic and super unfair twist of fate—has what I want. No, not a ridiculous and embarrassing TV show, but lots of other things.I feel like I’ve done all of the things a responsible adult should do (well, many of them, anyway): I graduated from college (twice), manage to keep a job, take good care of myself physically and financially, and don’t really bother anybody. Snooki gets drunk every day, pees outside, fights, and gets arrested for disorderly conduct. What’s more, I know all of this without having ever watched a single episode of the show. She’s so famous that her escapades are news and part of popular culture. She’s everywhere. Barbara Walters even chose her and her castmates for her list of 2010 Most Fascinating People.I don’t care about the famous part. Here’s what’s making me just a little crazy. Snooki “wrote” a book and it made the New York Times Best Seller List! This, from a woman who claims never to have read a book. And this makes me crazy because I, too, have written a book. A book that, I’m told by many people, is insightful and funny and unique. Some of these people are in the publishing business; they “love the concept” but just don’t quite know what to do with it (how about publish it, for goodness sake?!) Snooki’s book? They know what to do with that. And that’s the problem. Noise has become more important than content.And here’s the other reason I’m jealous of Snooki. Her outrageouness earned her a million dollars last year. I’ve been working since I was 15 and I earn a good living, but I’m tired. I’m ready to sleep in and work a few less hours. Actually a lot less hours. Part-time is what I’m aiming for. However, I can’t afford to live on half my salary. But if I, like Snooki, earned $1 million last year, I could afford to live on my part-time salary. But I didn’t earn close to that. I never used to care about what other people earned, but dear Snooki’s seven-figure salary is starting to bother me. I don’t want to get drunk every day (or pee outside) like Snooki. I just want to do less, like Snooki, and still get paid.The world is upside down. Being loud and obnoxious and stupid is paying a lot more now than it used to. And don’t even get me started on those dim-witted Real Housewives series. I would have thought grown women would know better. Apparently not. And it hasn’t hurt them.(Sigh.)This and other fun posts are also available at Women's Voices for Change NOTE: If you like "Spinsterlicious" and want to be notified of new posts, please subscribe in the box on the right -or- if you have a Google Account, you can click on "Follow Me" also on the right, near the bottom. You'll receive an email each time there's an update to the blog. Don't miss a Spinsterlicious update!
