What's the female equivalent of a dirty old man? “Dirty old lady” doesn't have quite the same ring—but whatever it's called, I think I became one the other day. (What I'm thinking is more salacious than “Cougar.”) Anyway, I'm a single woman-of-a-certain age. I date, and I prefer men around the same age as I am. I'll generally go 10 years in either direction, but I really haven't been that interested in much younger men. Until now. What's more, he wasn't just much younger, he's a bit of a rockstar. Literally. So a better description of me on that night might have been "severely over-age groupie."
A friend treated me to a performance by Wyclef Jean --singer, musician, and all-around hot guy-- at City Winery recently. I knew it would be a fun evening, because City Winery is sized so that the performances feel rather intimate there. Before the concert, I wouldn't have called myself a huge Wyclef fan, though I like some of his music. I had met him years ago at an event when I was working at an ad agency, and I found him personable and handsome in a regular-guy kind of way. But that's it.
That night at the City Winery, something came over me. I went from "this should be a fun evening" to "OMG, this is amazing!" Wyclef puts on quite a performance, engages well with the audience, and seems to be having a tremendous amount of fun onstage. I was sucked all the way in.
He was dressed all in white, and it was a wonderful matchup to his beautiful dark skin. His music is contagious, but it's his movements that really got me going. I like the way he moves. Correction: I love the way he moves. I think what really got me is how athletic he is onstage. When he did a full-body flip without missing a beat, I think I started to swoon. (I don't think I've ever used that word before).
For the first time I really understood why old men lust after young women. It's the physicality of it all. No man my age can move like that. I started to think that perhaps I'd like to spend an evening with this very sexy man, 16 years my junior. Just the two of us. And to be clear, it's not because I think he'd be fascinating to talk to for a long time; I'm not even sure if he's sane. He tried to run for President of Haiti in the last election . . . despite having zero experience in politics and he hasn't lived in Haiti for 20+ years. Whatever. It's not his stimulating conversation I was interested in.
The friend who brought me to the concert knows Wyclef and offered to take me backstage to meet him. I was beside myself with excitement. This was my big chance . . . but then I chickened out. Despite having a wife, Sexy Wyclef has a reputation for being quite the ladies’ man, and I'd be embarrassed at this age to be just one more on a long list of honeys. I would want him to remember my name. So I said "No, thank you" and went home alone . . . still smiling, though. I'm happy to be a groupie-in-my-head.
So...whaddya think? How old is too old to be a groupie? Have you a similar experience to share? Please do!
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10 comments:
Listen just we get a certain age does not mean we can't be lustful. Ten yeras either way hmmm. I like 10 years -at least 5 years younger LOL. And those Younger I just look and drool..(;-) .
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When in good shape I have to tell them they are too young ..darnn it! (;-)
Dirty old lady.. Absolutely at in my mind ... mostly..
You make me smile alot with your posts.
I think that it's perfectly normal to have celeb crushes even if they are outside your normal dating range...even if you never act on it...still fun and still great eye candy! Some that I have crushes are: Jimmy Smits, Esai Morales, Franky G, Pitbull, Yancey Arias, Michael de Lorenzo, Adam Rodriguez, Andy Garcia, Lombardo Boyar....to name a few...yes, I tend to go for tall, dark and Latino! ;)
I think it is perfectly normal and healthy to look at a younger, vibrant man and imagine the possibilities. Kind of gives you that thrilling chill up your spine, ooh! An active imagination is essential in the event you ever decided not to chicken out and go for it. I try to think of the worst thing that could happen, but I am coming up blank. You go girl!!!
You CHICKENED OUT? Cougar, that is one cub you shouldn't say no to! Although I do appreciate that you probably don't drink as much Dutch courage as I do on a night out.
I've mentioned it before, but I prefer younger men, and you have hit on one of the reasons they do appeal. Ironic, then, that the last boyfriend, who was 15 years younger than me, was so much like a senior citizen. While he was lovely to look at, physically he was out of shape and lazy (genus: geek), and when it really counted, practically comatose.
Then I think, could I have handled a high-energy guy, some little jackhammer who doesn't know when to quit? I'm unfit and out of shape myself, and fairly low-energy, so this whole cougar thing may be coming to a sad, sad end for me... as of last February.
No harm in giving it a whirl though, it's very good for the ego, as long as you keep it real, and relatively brief.
The definition of "groupie" changes depending on age ...... so the younger the musician, the more he wants from his "groupie". ;-)
iolan.....
Yes, I had a very similar experience: A friend and I went to a jazz club and listened to a fabulous band perform. As I was listening to the music, I found myself watching the large masculine hands of the alto sax player move up and down his horn as he played. He wasn’t physically attractive to me, but he was a tremendously talented musician.
When I mentioned it to my friend, she hadn’t noticed his hands and so I was even more intrigued by my experience. It seemed almost erotic to listen to the music and to watch his hands.
After pondering it awhile, I realized I was simply appreciating the beauty of another human being.
It can be fun but frustrating. I have a student in my lab that is 13 years younger and so beautiful. The looking is fun, but damn, it becomes too frustrating after awhile (student = completely off limits). I agree it's the physicality and imagining what that physical ability would be like that is quite a bit of it.
Nothing wrong with lusting after beautiful. I draw the line at the married part though. If he's free to play, then why not? If he's married to someone else, totally off limits. I would be devastated if that happened to me so I would never do it to someone else.
Nothing wrong with lusting after beautiful. I draw the line at the married part though. If he's free to play, then why not? If he's married to someone else, totally off limits. I would be devastated if that happened to me so I would never do it to someone else.
I've got the hots for Taj Mahal. I've seen him twice in the last 5 years and I wanted to get up and slip him a note while he was on stage. There was just something so sexy about him...and he's a much older man!
I say yes to the idea of groupies...fantasy is a wonderful thing.
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