I celebrated a birthday last month and what a fun day it was. In commemoration of me adding another year, a friend sent me a piece attributed to Andy Rooney called In Praise of Women Over 40 (or something like that). I like it. Here it is:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
- A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
- If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
- A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
- Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
- Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
- A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
- Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.
- A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
- Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
- Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
I love the sentiment here, but the fact that it had to be written suggests that the writer is in the minority among men. As we know, for too many men, an older woman is a less appealing woman. And here's the real clincher: this piece has been attributed to Andy Rooney, but turns out that Andy Rooney didn't write this after all.
And not only did Andy Rooney not write it, when asked, he said he didn't particularly agree with it! The nerve! Hilarious that he got the credit for being much smarter than he actually was.
Being younger and being older both have their advantages. What do you love about being the age you are now?
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13 comments:
great!
from rural Arkansas
Good grief, eleanore, a fabulous posting. I will take heart. Thanks
I have been sent that piece about 40-plus women before, and to be honest, I didn't know what to make of it. I didn't find it particularly encouraging. So we're great because we flatter their egos more and let them get away with more by not placing restrictions on them or questioning them or their behaviour? I may be more sure of what I want, but I'm probably more insecure in my relationships now than I was in my 20s and 30s.
However, there are many reasons I'm comfortable with being 45, even if I am under no illusion that men find me more sexy as I age (nor do I find men more attractive - I prefer them a lot younger, in fact). I genuinely feel freer now I'm not subjected to the male gaze. I was watching a sexy young woman walking in front of me on the way to work today, tottering in the requisite sky-high heels, spray-tanned legs in a mini dress, and I saw a table full of middle-aged male workers chuckle and make sleazy comments as she passed. She seemed self-conscious and probably enjoys the attention, but I actually felt relief that I no longer had to a) dress so uncomfortably and try that hard and b) depend on such attention to feel valid and confident. I genuinely LOVE being free of being 'on display' now, although, within a relationship context, of course I like to feel wanted and admired. And I do like to dress well (for myself and other women, perhaps? And because I like nice clothes.)
It took me some years to get to that point, mind you. I missed the attention for a long time. My younger sister still moans about it. But once you reach that wonderful point in life, as a woman, of "acceptance", it can only be liberating for you. I'm not sure men (who chase 22-year-olds in middle age) ever achieve that. How tragic for them!
PS. Harper Lee is a legend and inspiration to humanity.
Even if it was not from Andy Rooney, I liked the essay. It gave me a good chuckle.
For me, I am still going through the acceptance stage of my life. I am getting better as I get older but overall, I am feeling better. I hated being in my early twenties so I am pleased I am out of that crap stage now that I am in my 30's.
Janine - How do you read into this that we flatter men's egos more and let them get away with more? I don't see it. In fact, it says we're likely to tell them when they're being a jerk, which I am more likely to do. I think this post is great.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, a lifelong bachelor bought a five year-old truck and a used camper – and off he went, exploring the back roads of America. On his first trip, he journeyed 17,000 miles to Anchorage, Alaska, staying in campgrounds and living off his savings. He wrote a book, “Highway to Heaven” at the end of his journey. One more real life story from my home files here in rural Arkansas.
Happy Holidays! Happy Winter Solstice!
Another person comes to my mind is the late Mrs. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis’ longtime spokeswoman and confidante, Nancy Tuckerman During the nearly 60-year friendship between Mrs. Onassis and the woman she called “Tucky” began when they were classmates at Miss Chapin’s School in New York City. Tuckerman was Jackie’s social secretary at the White House, and then served for three decades as the person who shielded the fiercely private former First Lady from the press. Mrs. Onassis rewarded her loyal friend – at age 65 yrs. Old and never married – by leaving “Tucky” $250,000, and naming her as the administrator of the charitable foundation set up by Jackie’s estate.
Years ago, while in college in south Texas, Juanita Garcia, now 74was a feature in the Valley Star News (Slice of Life section, entitled ‘Voice of an Angel’) this year, is a retired singer, who lives in McAllen, TX. In 1990, she was featured in an exhibit titled: Musica Tejana: The History and Development of Tejano Music at the Texas Music Museum in Austin, Texas. For some, spouses, and children are their legacy. Garcia never had either. Her legacy was music. “I never had time to settle down,” she said. “I was having too much fun traveling and singing.”
Also, Leonie Faroll, class of 1949 at Wellesley College, had other ideas when she left $27 million to her alma mater: to keep the power flowing through campus, the boilers pumping and the nuts and bolts of certain college facilities properly greased and tightened. Nobody knows exactly when Leonie, a longtime resident of Park Avenue in New York, became fascinated with energy and engineering, but it seems she was hooked early. As an undergraduate volunteer at the college radio station in the late 1940s, she could frequently be spotted hanging wires around campus in an attempt to boost the station’s modest signal. She never married, and friends said, made no improvements to her family’s nine-room apartment, where she lived the rest of her life. She died in September 2003, and left Wellesley what is believed to be the largest bequest ever given to a women’s college. In a recent article, “Actress-turned-nun visits Hollywood after 43 years in monastery” April 11, 2006, it was reported that Dolores Hart is still single. Miss Hart, who at age 24 startled the film world in 1962 by leaving a thriving screen career -- including two roles opposite Elvis Presley -- to become a nun. Recently she has returned to Hollywood for her first visit after 43 years in a monastery. Now the Rev. Mother Dolores Hart and prioress of the cloistered community at Abbey of Regina Laudis in Connecticut, she has been renewing friendships from her studio years. She seems in radiant health at 67, her cheeks smooth and rosy, her blue eyes clear. She wore traditional nun's attire, with a couple of additions: a green hand-knit sweater under the robe and a jaunty black beret to a recent luncheon.
Again, Happy Holidays! Happy Winter Solstice! from rural Arkansas, solo by choice
Featured in the magazine PEOPLE (12-18-2000) Madame Renee Broussard, named a “castaway” became famous. Unfortunately, for decades, Ms. Renee Broussard lived a life of bizarre isolation, cut off from the world in a Paris suburb. Miss Broussard indicated that in 1969, at age 34, with no place to live after the death of her mother, who had done some knitting for an apparel workshop owned by Francoise and Jacques Saunier of Paris France. The couple offered her a place to stay in exchange for knitting work. The irony of this timely, real life story is that she survived a long life of living solo – no husband & children, no parents, had no car, no vacations, no books to read from the local library, no pets to keep her company and, not even a TV to watch, and no friends to visit her for 20 years plus; and had, no money to speak of to go shopping! She said her only consolations, were listening to the radio, reading the Bible and poring over newspapers that she retrieved at night from garbage cans. Curiously, Ms. Broussard never tried to make contact with anyone else. One of the Sauniers’ neighbors recalls that she used to catch glimpses from time to time of a woman near the small shed, which she used has a house. As to why she didn’t leave, or at least ask for help, there seems to be no easy answer. “I had nowhere else to go, she told reporter, Ms. Angelique Negroni, a reporter for Le Figaro, who interviewed Ms. Broussard, found her pitably passive. Ms. Broussard was finally discovered last Near Year’s Eve, when police went to the Sauniers’ home searching for a reported prowler and found her cowering in the shed! At present, the woman who answers the door at the senior citizens residence in the French town of Le Vesinet, a suburb of Paris, is neatly attired in a woolen sweater and skirt, her light brown hair carefully coiffed. Asked for an interview about the events that have made her a cause of celebre in France, Renee Broussard, 65, politely declined. She did tell the reporter, Negroni, all she wanted was peace and quiet. And, “I’d like to have friends, she further said.” In 2004, I received an updated report that these days Broussard lives in a simple but comfortable one-room apartment in Le Vesinet, France. Le Vésinet is a plush city located west of Paris. The city has c. 15,000 inhabitants, called Vésigondins. All we need are friends, really good friends in life.
I am looking forward to reading this book, Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, will be published in February 2012.
from rural ARkansas, again (smiles) Ya'll can tell I am single! Ever solo in rural Arkansas
In Boston, Massachusetts, Catherine Woolley, wrote books all her life that enthralled children. With the 87 children's books she wrote, Catherine Woolley delighted generations of young readers around the world with stories of children, animals, a friendly ghost, and mysterious happenings. She was so prolific that her publisher told her to use a nom de plume for some books. Many of the books were translated into foreign languages. Ms. Woolley died Saturday in her Truro home. She was 100. Until then, said her niece Betsy Drinkwater of Enfield, N.H., Ms. Woolley was a lover of books and a ''lifelong Democrat." ''After her 100th birthday last summer, her goal was to live long enough to vote in the 2004 election, and she did," Drinkwater said.
''She was a character," Drinkwater said. ''She never married, was very independent, and traveled all over the world. '' A petite woman with blue eyes and curly hair, Ms. Woolley was also feisty, said a Truro neighbor, Peggy Longgood. ''She was clear in what she believed in and thought, and she would not back down on anything. She was indomitable." Ms. Woolley continued to write into her 80s and 90s, Drinkwater said. Her last published work was 1989's ''Writing for Children," in which she advised adults how to write children's books. It wasn't easy, she warned. Though Ms. Woolley never had children, she seemed to have a kinship with them, friends said. In her books, she often drew on her own experiences and world travels. She always urged students at the writers' workshops she taught on Cape Cod to write what they knew. In ''Writing for Children," she writes: ''There is a delight in working with words, because if you are a writer you love the magic of words and you love using words to bring children into the world you are creating." Miss Woolley wrote for magazines before her first book, ''I Like Trains," was published in 1944. In the early 1960s, she moved into a house she had bought in Truro, pounding out books on an old Remington typewriter. She never used a computer. Among her many books were ''The Puppy Who Wanted a Boy," about a dog who was looking for a master and found more than one at an orphanage, and a series about ''Gus the Ghost," a friendly apparition. On Cape Cod, Ms. Woolley was a fixture at writing and book events. She helped start a book club, worked with the Friends of the Truro Library, taught at writing workshops, and held story hours at the library. When the library opened its new building in 1996, it named its children's room after her. ''Catherine's writing and literary life was paramount to her," said Anne Brock of North Truro, a former library trustee. One of Ms. Woolley's students was Yoko Kawashima Watkins of Brewster, with whom she worked for a year on a manuscript for Watkins's successful young adult novel, ''So Far From the Bamboo Grove." Ms. Woolley kept one part of her literary life secret. ''She loved to write poetry but was very shy to admit it," said Sara Hutchings of Wellfleet, a schoolteacher in Truro who often took children to meet and read with Ms. Woolley.
In the documentary film, “The Hotel Upstairs”, (2001), filmmaker Daniel Baer brings to life the world of the Columbus Hotel, an all-but-invisible residential hotel in the heart of San Francisco. The 50-room hotel is home to an unexpected mix of aging artists, immigrant’s families and urban hermits.
I will be viewing this film again over the holidays here in rural Arkansas.
I'm almost 40, and although I think this list describes me somewhat, I hope that it describes me to a tee by the time I really hit 40 in about 6 years. That's enough time to work on my growth:-)
http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/in-praise-of-men-over-40/
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