Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Was Spinsterhood My Destiny?


I often talk about how I never really wanted to be married or have kids.  Even when I was young, I recall being the only one of my friends who didn't fantasize about the life-to-come as a wife and mother.  Many of my friends, even as tweens, had already picked out names for the kids they would have in 15 years.  But not me.

Sometimes I would wonder what was wrong with me, but most of the time I just assumed I was a late bloomer and I, too, might someday pepper my conversation with how I couldn't wait to be married.  (I'm still waiting).

I have always assumed I was just different, and this lack of desire to marry or procreate was just part of my independent, sometimes contrarian, spirit.  But one day I came across a book, The Secret Language of Birthdays.  I'm not a big believer in astrology (or whatever this is based on), but this book profiles people by their birth date, and it nailed my personality completely!  It's eerie.

It even foretells my spinsterhood!  Yep!.  There's a passage that reads "…November 26 people can be reticent about marriage or taking on the responsibilities of children".  (Gasp!)




Oh my!  And all this time I thought this was my decision and mine alone.  Now I find out my destiny was written in the stars, so to speak.  Fascinating.  But, this totally throws me off.  What about free will?

What do you think?  Is this pure coincidence?  Has anything like this ever happened to you?



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4 comments:

Michael Ann said...

WOW!!! I think this is amazing. I have a similar book and it profiles my personality TO A T as well.

I think astrology is interesting because it's based on the pull of the moon, stars etc... I don't understand it all but since our bodies are like 90% water and the moon's gravitational pull etc... can control the tides, it makes sense to me. And....aren't we all one? Us and the universe. Humans are the same stuff as the stars and the galaxies and planets.

Anyhow, so I don't think Free Will has anything to do with this in particular. It's not like God or faith or destiny. It's more like this is who you ARE, not what will happen to you. Did that make sense?

Janine said...

I couldn't answer that until you look up APRIL 5. Now I'm curious! I don't think it's in the stars so much as my DNA. Contrarian - I like that, and it fits me like a glove too.
The other day, my friend was showing me home videos in which his 5-year-old niece is given Christmas gifts, and unwraps the usual fairy princess outfit, then a BRIDE outfit. Yes, our 2 biggest girl fantasies, right? At that point I cringed heavily. I couldn't imagine my parents choosing such a thing for me as a child. I would've cried because I couldn't eat it. Not once did I, or have I ever, fantasised about being a bride or having kids.
I don't cry at weddings. In fact, a recent weekend saw my half-sister's wedding follow hot on the heels of the Aussie Rules grand final, in which my team won! I got far more emotional over that! I found the wedding kind of cheesy. They've been living together for ages and have a kid. And she gets to change her name to... Smith. Who could be stuffed?
I strongly suspect it's just who you are, and you should celebrate your difference. If nothing else, you've saved yourself about $20,000on a Big White Wedding. Hooray for that!

Sandy said...

I cringe at how young we push girls into looking to be a bride, but not necessarily "marriage". I bought into the marriage business when I was in my early 20s, but one divorce and two relationships later - no more! I am happily an unmarried woman. I always thought the "biological clock" nonsense was just a scam perpetrated on women - or that I was born without one. No maternal interest at all. I don't dislike children, but I do better when kids can be communicated with. Never particularly had an urge for motherhood and don't miss it at all. Thank goodness for The Pill!

MilanoGirl said...

Sandy--great point. The focus should be a successful relationship rather than the fleeting moments of a fun wedding or being the perfect bride.

Oh, Astrology, how I like and dislike, thee!