Why I'm Done With Online Dating!

I think online dating is fantastic, in theory. In practice it's a lot more tricky.  When online dating first appeared, it had a stigma attached.  It was weird.  Creepy even.  I recall that a handsome successful guy I knew was doing it when online dating was in its infancy and I remember thinking "what's wrong with him"?  Online dating back then was so new and different that most people didn't quite know what to make of it. (Some still don't.)

But then it became rather normal. I joined a site or three and came to really like it.  I liked that these sites gave me the opportunity to meet a lot of interesting and fun guys who I would never have encountered in my ordinary travels.  What I liked most was that online dating was still new enough that only guys who were looking for a serious relationship were using it.  I met several long-ish term boyfriends that way

That's all changed now. Online dating sites are filled with all kinds of people: the serious, the-not-serious, the curious, the-not-really-available, clowns, and guys who just make stuff up.  It's not fun anymore.

And the sites aren't helping. They all pretend to send you "good matches" that are right for you, but it's clear they know nothing about me.  My profile says what I'm looking for, and what characteristics I desire. (And, no, I'm not asking for a lot).  Judging by the so-called Matches they send to me, it is clear that whoever is making this decision (it's probably automated) can't or won't read.

Match.com, daily, recommended for me matches to men who indicated they wanted a white woman. I'm not white.  OKCupid.com keeps suggesting guys who are looking for women in an age range that is not mine or who want to have kids...which I don't.  It's starting to feel a little scam-ish.

So, I'm tired. I don't need to spend my time online sorting thru men I don't want to go out with...and who don't really want to go out with me.

I do still think online dating can be cool. One of my friends married a great lady last year who he met online.  Another is engaged to a woman he met online, and a girlfriend is in a serious relationship with a guy she met online a few months ago...so it's not all bad...I may return...but right now these online sites who pretend to help but really don't can suck it  go fly a kite.

Are you having any better luck?  We need a little inspiration...
--------

NOTE: If you like "Spinsterlicious" and want to be notified of new posts, please subscribe "Via Email" in the box on the right. You'll receive an email when there's a new blog post.   Or "Like" Spinsterlicious on Facebook. Just click the button at the top of this page.   Or "Follow Me" on Twitter (button on the right).   Whatever you do, don't miss a Spinsterlicious update!   


Oh yeah.  And don't forget to visit  The Spinsterlicious Life SHOP!

Linda Ricci, Spinsterlicious Lady, Has an Online Dating Story...or Two

Linda Ricci, witty lady, dating champ, and brave enough to escape corporate America to do lots of fascinating things, including starting her own line of  awesome jewelry and blogging about the intersection of technology, strategy, and psychology: http://decahedralist.com/.  Today, she's sharing her thoughts on a few of her online dating adventures.

 

Online dating is one of the joyful rites of passage that most late 30-something or 40-something single women eventually experiences. "Why not, right? I'll give it a try." Now mind you - I'm not sitting here sadly crying into my herbal tea with fading sugar plum visions of a big white floofy dress in my head. But I LIKE men, and am self-employed and work from "home" (my couch, mostly), so online dating is one of the few ways to meet them.

But oh the joys.

It started when I posted my real age (42). Nobody wanted to talk to me! No matches, no replies, nada. So I very scientifically started changing "variables" to see which would change the results. Shaving an inch off my 5'11" height?  No result.  2?  Still nothing.  Ok, height back to original.

Religion?  Also no discernable result.

Ok then - the "variable" I had always insisted shouldn't make a difference: age.  I mean, I look about 34, so I lowered my age by a year.  Then again, then again, until I hit 39.

And the floodgates opened! But what did the gushing waters bring?  Such prizes as the 58- year-old grandfather who lives with his mother as the result of a traumatic brain injury. Seriously?  I didn't think so.  And what kind of ego permits a 58-year-old man, living with his mother and with a traumatic brain injury, to think he has a rat's ass chance in hell with someone like me?



What most astounded me though, was just the sheer number of profiles and emails sporting absolute gibberish.  Can no one string a proper sentence together?  Here's an example - I never could figure out what he was talking about (a born and bred american IT specialist, his profile claimed). To this day I chuckle when I think about "without being sluggished" - it's become a running joke of sorts between me and my friends.
 


My serious interest in possibly meeting someone to date rapidly turned into bemused anticipation of what ridiculousness would find me that day.
 
And some soul searching. Am I unreasonably picky? Do I have a right to expect more? And then the inevitable rebuttal - "Am I that desperate?".  To which the answer is clearly "no."
 
So, "adorned" with my sense of humor and a whole bunch of friends waiting for the latest wacky update, I will bravely continue my quest. 

Like Linda, I, (Eleanore), too, have had my share of online dating adventures.  Maybe I'll blog about them someday.  In the meantime, I'd love to hear about yours. 

NOTE:  If you like "Spinsterlicious" and want to be notified of new posts, please (re)subscribe in the box on the right -or- if you have a Google Account, you can click on "Follow Me" also on the right, near the bottom.   You'll receive an email each time there's an update to the blog.  (It's a new service; if you registered earlier, you'll have to do it again.  Sorry...and Thanks)