Six-Month Round-up

It's been six months since The Spinsterlicious Life was born.  I was so nervous.  I had never blogged before, and am not especially tech savvy so I wasn't sure that I wouldn't make a mess of the whole thing.  I started the blog because I've written a book with the same name, a cross between a memoir and self-help book...that is, tales about my adventures in dating and other experiences, paired with my tongue-in-cheek thoughts on what life lessons might be offered to others.

Alas, although I still don't have a publisher for my book, I'm having a good time with the blog.  So I decided to do a bit of a retrospective to celebrate its half-birthday.  

In 6 months, I've had over 12,500 page views.  What's popping the most?  (NOTE: Tallies are a combination of those from the Blog, the Facebook Page, and the private emails sent to me).

The 5 Most-Read/Popular Posts
The post with the highest number of readers is what I hope is a useful guide about how to decide when to roll around naked with a guy for the first time.  The others are, I guess, pretty interesting, too:

1.    To Sex -or- Not To Sex
2.    The Break-up Text 
3.    Where Do Old Broads Hang Out?
4.    I Think I'm Jealous of Snooki
5.    Divorcee as Status









The 4 Posts with the Most Comments

Interestingly, the posts with the most readers are not the same as the those with the most comments.  Apparently, it takes something more than popularity to provoke you guys to add your two cents!  Angie got lots of responses, as did these others:
 
1.   Angie's "Ambivalently Spinsterlicious" Shoe-of-the-Week  
2.   Uh-Oh. I Might Be a Hypocrite
3.   Did He Cheat?
4.   Later, Chuck


The 3 Most-Read/Popular Guest Posts



I think lots of people (re)evaluate their status during the holidays, and Kathryn's post was the most popular of my guest bloggers.  And two others:

1.   Single During the Holidays
2.   A Much Smarter Divorcee 
3.   SY-Guy: Spinsterlicious Man-of-the-Month

The 2  Countries --Outside the U.S.-- Where I Have the Strongest Readership.
Obviously, most of my readers are from the good old U.S. of A., but 1. Canadians and 2. Australians are hanging tough with me, too...and I appreciate it.

The 1 Cute Dog 

A gratuitous plug for the world's cutest Yorkie
1.    Danny!!



Thank you and much love to you, dear readers, for your support.          



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Love in the Time of Texts

I love texting.   I'm not sure somebody my age is supposed to love texting, if I judge it by the number of my comrades who I hear complaining about it.   To me, they sound a lot like the stereotypical codger who complained about those new-fangled horseless carriages, and whatever names they had for other emerging technology: the telephone, tv, music cds, email.   They certainly have the right to try to ignore what's new(ish), but I always wonder "what are you afraid of"?   In every situation, we have the right to choose how much to engage with any technology...though completely resisting it can sometimes leave you left out. 

Whatever.  Back to why I love texting.  Especially when I'm dating.

(1)  Texting is fun.  It's flirty.  Sometimes sexy.  It's a tidbit of surprise in the midst of what might be an ordinarily fairly mundane moment.  An unexpected text from a cute boy is a delight.   "Hey beautiful".*   "Can't wait to see you tonight".   "I want to wake up with you, sit with you at the breakfast table and look out the window sipping coffee".   "You have a beautiful face and luscious lips".   "Good nite, pretty".   "U tickle my imagination".   They always make me smile.  Sometimes blush.   I don't always care if they're even true.  They're fun. Some of these guys somehow find a way to be slightly more expressive via text than they can ever muster live. 
 .
(2)  Texting is efficient.  It's a really good and quick way to communicate some much-needed information.  "I'll be there in 10".  "Here's the address...".  "What's your dress size?"  "Where are you?"   You give/get the necessary info much faster and much less intrusively than with  a phone call.  I can answer a text when I'm in a meeting, in the doctor's waiting room, or in a restaurant waiting for the other party.  Times when I'm less likely to answer or make a phone call.


(3)  Texting is a really good barometer of how the relationship is going.  See, texting is bad if it's your primary form of communication.  When it becomes a substitute for real conversation, it's time for me to pack my virtual bags.  I'm not even talking about break-up texts;  that relationship is already kaput.  I'm talking about two almost-relationships I had when the guys texted me a few times a day but couldn't seem to be able to pick up the phone to call me.  An easy and early sign to bail.  Interestingly, one guy didn't seem to understand why that was an issue.  Another reason to leave: he was obtuse.

And in the spirit of full disclosure, I must admit that I, too, have used texting as a proxy...as a distancing measure.  When I'm kinda half-in-half-out, but haven't quite completely moved on I find myself sending more texts and making fewer calls.  Guilty.

As with all technology, it's not the medium...it's us.

*All examples of texts in this post are texts I've actually received.

 
NOTE:  If you like "Spinsterlicious" and want to be notified of new posts, please subscribe in the box on the right -or- if you have a Google Account, you can click on "Follow Me" also on the right, near the bottom.   You'll receive an email each time there's an update to the blog.  Don't miss a Spinsterlicious update!

The Break-up Text (Also Known As -"Yeah, I'm a Punk")

Photo: Courtesy buzzstoc.com

There was a Sex in the City episode a few years ago where Berger broke up with Carrie by Post-it Note.  That is, rather than telling her to her face that he wanted out of the relationship, he wrote it on a Post-it Note and left it for her to find the next morning after he'd left.   Everybody --on the show and in real life-- agreed it was a pretty lousy move. (Everybody = women).

Of course, that show was television and not real life (though it certainly felt like it from time to time).  Recently, though, my friend Lana's boyfriend broke up with her via text message.  (And, no, he's not twelve).  It's Berger and Carrie, 2010; the technological equivalent of the Post-it Note breakup.   This guy, too, didn't have the balls to "man up" and tell Lana he didn't think the relationship was working out. 

This is what I wonder about: what is the conversation a grown man has with himself that allows him to be convinced that ending a relationship by text message is acceptable?   I'm thinking he must feel pretty sheepish...but maybe not.   Lana was, of course, stunned that he chose this method to break-up.  Technology can be efficient and practical...and cold.  Break-up texts are definitely cold. 


When she told me, I was disgusted, but not completely surprised.    A few years ago, I took the time to write a thoughtful, heartfelt letter to a guy I was seeing to explain why the relationship wasn't working for me.   I used my personal stationary, put a stamp on it, and mailed it the old-fashioned way.   He responded by text message (a rather incoherent one, at that).  I remember thinking "what a jackass".  The good thing about it, though, is that it reinforced how right I was to get out.

After talking with a few others, I learned that this isn't as uncommon as it should be.  See what you started, Berger?   Apparently there are lots of men who leave relationships this way.  Isn't this how Kelsey Grammer told his soon-to-be-ex-wife that he wanted a divorce?  Or was it by email?  Same difference.  What is up with these chickensh*# men?  Is a phone call just too hard?


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