Girlie was going on and on about all the wonderful things her man has bought her through the years. He is a Hollywood agent and apparently has the means to buy her lots of expensive things...things like jewelry, fancy clothes, her 35 pairs of Christian Louboutins, and her Mercedes Benz. In fact, at that moment, she was returning to Los Angeles from a New York City shopping trip he'd financed (because I guess she needed more shoes).
I was starting to weary of this overheard conversation until she said something that made my ears perk up. Girlie said "I'm not even sure what he did this time, but it must have been a doozy. I know I'll find out soon enough". She went on to tell her friend that Mr. Hollywood Agent buys her "something wonderful" every time he Effs up (she said the real word).
Even though she wasn't talking to me, I was very confused. Was she bragging? She seemed to be bragging about this, proud even...and I kept waiting for her friend to tell her "that's ridiculous". I even thought about leaning over my seat to tell her myself, but I then I thought better of it. You never know who's crazy and it was too long a flight to have a crazy person who's mad at me sitting behind me. So I said nothing.
It reminded me, though, of how I had once been in a similar situation. Not similar in that my guy bought me stuff when he "effed up", but similar in that he used gifts as a proxy for his inadequacies. The first few times he did it I was a little uncomfortable, and then it fairly quickly progressed to being offensive to me.
My guy didn't have Hollywood Agent money but he had quite a bit, and he used it to communicate the feelings he was unable to express. Instead of hugs and compliments, I got things. Really nice things because he had really good taste, but I could not make him understand why stuff is not an acceptable substitute for effective communication.
This was crazy. I had to bounce. He still thinks I'm nutty for leaving a man who liked to buy me things, and I'm sure Girlie would say the same thing...though I suspect that, deep down inside, she knows why it's wrong.
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