The High Status of Being a Divorcee

Many years ago I worked with a woman who was a Spinster.  She seemed to have quite an interesting life, with lots of romances and the jewelry to prove it.  I wouldn't have done it quite the way she did because in most cases she was an "important" man's mistress and that's not my thing.  Still, she had lots of great stories and it seemed to work for her.  

Or at least I thought it did.  One day while listening to one of her many stories, she gave me a bit of advice that I found startling.  She told me that I should "just find someone...anyone, and marry him".  It didn't really matter if I loved him or even stayed with him for very long.  In fact, staying was beside the point.  In her view, being divorced gives a woman a higher status in society than never having been married.

In her immortal words:  It's better to be a has-been than a never-was!  I love this line.  And while I don't agree with it, I think most people probably do.  I know divorced women who hasten to correct anyone who describes them as single.  For them, it's really important for people to know that they were once married...that someone wanted them, at least once.  


I recall having been at a dinner party with some people I hadn't seen in years.  It was surprising, then amusing, to me that my never-been-married "plight" was quite the topic of conversation, but not that of the "three-time divorcee" who sat next to me.  She was congratulated for knowing how to get a man...even though she couldn't keep one.  What seemed bizarre to me (that is, being married and divorced three times) seemed perfectly acceptable, normal even, to everybody else.


What do y'all think?  Is is better to be a has-been than a never-was?  




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Is Boredom A Good Reason For Divorce?

A good friend and regular reader of The Spinsterlicious Life sent me an article (Thanks, Candice) about the growing number of women who are leaving their marriages because they are "bored".  That's right.  According to the article (that I've re-titled Boredom-Driven Divorce), adultery and money issues are no longer the major reason for divorce; "growing apart" is...a euphemism for "I need something different".

These boredom-driven divorces are usually initiated by women...who are, apparently, married to perfectly decent husbands...who they don't dislike...but with whom they are finding their married life unbearingly dull.

As one woman put it, "I just wanted to change my life"...so she did.  She left.  One expert says this is a manifestation of how narcissistic we've all become.  Another says it's just an example of women taking back their power and refusing to "put up or shut up" like women historically may have.  Both explanations might be true, but I'm leaning more toward the latter.

It's interesting, though.  Bored married men just cheat on their wives; bored married women leave.  I have to admit, this reaffirms my fear about marriage.  I always assumed I'd be bored to death looking at the same guy for the rest of my life, so I just didn't bother.  I always remember a line from a Chris Rock joke:  you got two choices:  single and lonely -or married and bored.

But what do you think?  Is being bored enough of a good reason to get a divorce?  What if children are involved?  (Leaving is probably better than murder, huh?)




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