A Spinsterlicious, Luscious Life: Radio Interview

Last week I had a fun radio interview with Yolanda Shoshana on her Luscious Life radio show about making the most of your single life...if you're single just for the time being or forever. Either way, it oughta be a good one!

Please listen in and check back here for your comments.  You know I love hearing your feedback!



http://www.womensradio.com/2012/07/luscious-life-with-eleanore-wells/

In Honor of Nora Ephron...with Thanks to Dove

I'm a huge fan of Nora Ephron, who we lost recently.  Fortunately her wise and witty words will be with me forever.  Just about everything she said and wrote is one of my favorites, but one of my favorite favorites is the chapter On Maintenance from her book I Feel Bad About My Neck.  She writes about the increasing amount of time a woman has to spend on maintaining her looks as she ages.  Or as she calls it: "Status Quo Maintenance…what you do just to stay more or less even…the routine, everyday things required just to keep you from looking like someone who no longer cares.”

I totally get it.  I've always been rather lazy about my beauty routine.  Typically, I do the least amount necessary to look good.  I was blessed with “decent enough” looks and, of course, I had my youth.  I felt those things were enough and I didn’t have to work too hard.

That’s all changed.  I probably should work harder about my Status Quo Maintenance beauty routine, but I’m still lazy.  So here’s how I make it work now:

•  I bought a wig.  When I have a bad hair day, I don’t spend  a lot of time trying to fix it.  I put on my alternate hair.

•  I’ve fallen in love with fake nails.  I’ve never been one to get regular manicures because there’s something about my nails and nail polish that doesn’t work.  By day three, I’m all chips.  But I like the look of manicured nails and now I have them almost all the time. They go on in minutes and last a week or two.  No muss, no fuss.

• False eyelashes.  I’m getting better at putting them on straight, so I don’t look drunk.  When I get them right, they look better and are easier and faster than daily mascara because I wear them until they start to fall off.

•   New Dove® VisibleCare Renewing Crème Body Wash.  This one was a pleasant surprise.  I agreed to do a review of this new product because I’m always looking for something to make my skin look good.  In the summer, I like to take a shower at night.  I typically dry off and hop right into bed.  Moisturizing is too much trouble at that time, so when I wake up my skin has been replaced by that of an alligator. 

So, I looked forward to seeing what Dove could do for me.  What they told me is: Dove Renewing Body Wash nourishes and replenishes skin.  It’s part of  a revolutionary line of premium body wash from Dove.

It contains the highest concentration of NutriumMoisture technology across the Dove portfolio.  It gives you visibly more beautiful skin in just one week.

What I learned is that I can now take my nightly shower,  jump into bed without moisturizing, and my skin doesn’t scare me in the morning.  It actually looks pretty good.  I love that.  “Visibly more beautiful skin from a body wash” seems to be true.

If you want to know more about this new line from Dove, go to

http://www.dove.us/.  There’s also a sweepstakes for two $500 spa gift cards, and a coupon.

Now, if only I can find a lip gloss that stays on until I take it off.

Visit Dove^® VisibleCare^® to get a coupon for $1 off!

Enter to win one of two $500 Spafinder gift certificates!
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Her Husband, The Jerk

Last weekend I went to a dear friend's birthday party. It was held in her big, fabulous house in the suburbs.  It being in the suburbs is relevant only because that's where I'm most likely to find parties made up of all couples...and me. Actually there were two other single women there, but we were a mere blip amongst the 20 or so couples. Or maybe we weren't a blip; maybe it was more like a beacon.

Shortly after I arrived, a guy approached me. He was handsome and smiling and I thought, "Oh, birthday girl invited a single guy for me.  How nice."  We chatted for quite awhile, flirting a bit, and laughing about his day and mine, and various and sundry life events. He was especially interested in my book, The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree, and asked lots of questions about my experiences as a single woman.

Then, his WIFE wandered over.   I guess he forgot to mention her.  At no time in our lengthy conversation did he mention a wife...or his kids. It didn't even occur to me to ask if he was married because surely a married man wouldn't monopolize my time so blatantly, right?  Silly me.


What's worse is that Wife is a woman with whom I am friendly. Awkward. The three of us chatted for a few more minutes and then I excused myself.  Brazenly, he continued to show up wherever I happened to be.  He clearly saw no reason for us not to continue interacting...though I did. I wasn't interested in spending lots of time with my friend's husband.  I was conscious of how it might feel to her and look to others. So I avoided him.  Or tried to.

On the dance floor, I felt someone come up behind me, grab my waist and grind his pelvis into my backside. I turned around, shocked to see it was Douchebag Husband!

 

I'm still pissed at myself for only pushing him away and moving to another part of the dance floor. Here's what I wished  I'd done:  Slapped him. Yelled "WTF are you doing?" Snatched him by his collar and said "How dare you touch me that way!"  Any one of those would have me feeling better right now.  But I did none of those because I knew what followed would have changed the tone of the evening. I didn't want to make a scene at my friend's birthday party. I didn't want to embarrass his wife. And I was also cognizant of the fact that this very thing is the reason lots of married women don't want single women in the social mix: we cause trouble...even when it's not our fault.  We are the dreaded femme fatales.

And I really do believe it was my being single that made him think he could behave that way with me. If he had been interested in one of the married women at the party, I truly think he would have approached her differently. Like many men, he apparently thinks a single woman is desperate...and perhaps a little loose... and would welcome a blatantly and inappropriately sexual move.

And at that moment I also realized why his wife --a lovely women-- drinks so much. And she's a sad drunk. And clearly she has reason to be.

It'll be interesting what happens the next time I see him.  How do you think I should handle it?

NOTE: The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree--  is available here and  here, and on Amazon.

 And if you like "Spinsterlicious" and want to be notified of new posts, please subscribe "Via Email" in the box on the right. You'll receive an email when there's a new blog post. Or "Like" Spinsterlicious on Facebook. Just click the button at the top of this page. Or "Follow Me" on Twitter (button on the right). Whatever you do, don't miss a Spinsterlicious update! 

Sexy Wyclef...and Me

What's the female equivalent of a dirty old man? “Dirty old lady” doesn't have quite the same ring—but whatever it's called, I think I became one the other day. (What I'm thinking is more salacious than “Cougar.”)  Anyway, I'm a single woman-of-a-certain age. I date, and I prefer men around the same age as I am. I'll generally go 10 years in either direction, but I really haven't been that interested in much younger men. Until now.  What's more, he wasn't just much younger, he's a bit of a rockstar. Literally. So a better description of me on that night might have been "severely over-age groupie."

 

A friend treated me to a performance by Wyclef Jean --singer, musician, and all-around hot guy-- at City Winery recently. I knew it would be a fun evening, because City Winery is sized so that the performances feel rather intimate there. Before the concert, I wouldn't have called myself a huge Wyclef fan, though I like some of his music. I had met him years ago at an event when I was working at an ad agency, and I found him personable and handsome in a regular-guy kind of way.  But that's it.

 

That night at the City Winery, something came over me.  I went from "this should be a fun evening" to "OMG, this is amazing!" Wyclef puts on quite a performance, engages well with the audience, and seems to be having a tremendous amount of fun onstage. I was sucked all the way in.

 

He was dressed all in white, and it was a wonderful matchup to his beautiful dark skin. His music is contagious, but it's his movements that really got me going. I like the way he moves. Correction:  I love the way he moves. I think what really got me is how athletic he is onstage.  When he did a full-body flip without missing a beat, I think I started to swoon. (I don't think I've ever used that word before).  

 

For the first time I really understood why old men lust after young women. It's the physicality of it all.  No man my age can move like that.   I started to think that perhaps I'd like to spend an evening with this very sexy man, 16 years my junior.  Just the two of us.  And to be clear, it's not because I think he'd be fascinating to talk to for a long time; I'm not even sure if he's sane.  He tried to run for President of Haiti in the last election . . . despite having zero experience in politics and he hasn't lived in Haiti for 20+ years. Whatever.  It's not his stimulating conversation I was interested in.

 

The friend who brought me to the concert knows Wyclef and offered to take me backstage to meet him.  I was beside myself with excitement.  This was my big chance . . . but then I chickened out.  Despite having a wife, Sexy Wyclef has a reputation for being quite the ladies’ man, and I'd be embarrassed at this age to be just one more on a long list of honeys. I would want him to remember my name.  So I said "No, thank you" and went home alone . . . still smiling, though.  I'm happy to be a groupie-in-my-head.

So...whaddya think?  How old is too old to be a groupie?  Have you a similar experience to share?  Please do!

NOTE: The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree--  is available here and  here, and on Amazon.

 And if you like "Spinsterlicious" and want to be notified of new posts, please subscribe "Via Email" in the box on the right. You'll receive an email when there's a new blog post. Or "Like" Spinsterlicious on Facebook. Just click the button at the top of this page. Or "Follow Me" on Twitter (button on the right). Whatever you do, don't miss a Spinsterlicious update! 

Real-Life Fairy Tales

As you probably know, many of the followers of The Spinsterlicious Life are single because they choose to be. Others, however, are more reluctantly single. They would like to be married but it just hasn't worked out for them...either a first-time go at it or a marriage that came to a premature end. Some of them politely (or not) "yell" at me that my single-is-ok mantra is over-rated.   They're managing being single but would really like to be someone's wife.  And I get it...kinda. Being single-not-married works for me though I do like being single-with-a-boyfriend. 

So, I'm dedicating this blog post to real life, grown-up fairy tales that end with great women --all friends of mine--getting what they want.   Helping keep hope alive...

Kacy is back with the man of her dreams...finally. They met approximately 15 years ago. They were both married to other people, but eventually found their way to each other.   In many ways, they seemed perfect for each other: both good-looking, savvy New Yorkers with big jobs and active social lives.  But then, somehow, he ended up married to someone else. Kacy was devastated. We all kind of were.  Over the years, Kacy dated but never found anyone who came close to Matt.   Life was good but it wasn't as good as it would have been with Matt in it.  She hated, really hated being single.  Fast forward to today: A now-divorced Matt reappeared,  they're back together, madly in love, and seem beside themselves with happiness. They're both older and wiser, too, so they know better how to navigate things this time around. It looks good.


Liz was 40 years old and tired of dating. She wanted a husband and child and was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen.  She didn't sit around waiting for Mr. Right, but she sure hoped to find him. In the meantime, she moved from her fancy one-bedroom apartment to an even fancier 6-room apartment that she gutted and renovated just the way she wanted. In the process, a friend mentioned that she knew a newly-divorced man who lived in Liz's new neighborhood. They met, then married 2 years later. They seem really good together. Five years later, they adopted a beautiful baby girl.  Aaaah. 

Betty always wanted to be married with children, but once she got there, she sometimes struggled, much of it related to her loss of freedom.  She and her husband both have "lively" personalities so there was no one who was always the "voice of reason" (which made many of their fights funny to me... in an inappropriate way, I'm sure).  While she, from time-to-time, threatened to leave, he was always steadfast in his determination to keep his family together.  And stay together they have. The whole family (him, her, and the two kids) visited me this past Memorial Day weekend and it was a delight to have them. She may yell at me for saying this but I think he's one of the best things that ever happened to her. They've found a nice groove and will be happily celebrating their 20th anniversary this year. She'll probably threaten to leave a few more times, but nobody's really listening anymore. We know better. They're fine. More than fine, actually. 


So, I still believe in true love. I'm not sure I see enough of it, but it looks good when I do. Anybody else have a love story they want to share for the romantics out there who want to retire their Spinsterlicious card?

NOTE: The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree--  is available here and  here, and on Amazon.

 And if you like "Spinsterlicious" and want to be notified of new posts, please subscribe "Via Email" in the box on the right. You'll receive an email when there's a new blog post. Or "Like" Spinsterlicious on Facebook. Just click the button at the top of this page. Or "Follow Me" on Twitter (button on the right). Whatever you do, don't miss a Spinsterlicious update!