Saturday, August 20, 2011

Enough With The Platitudes...

...and other cliches. And now for today's rant. I hate trite comments, especially when the speaker is acting like we haven't heard it 10,000 times before. So when a woman who-shall-remain-nameless was trying to explain the concept of Spinsterlicious to a friend, and said "it's about being single and "living every day to the fullest", I groaned (inside), smiled a weak smile and said kinda quietly "well, not exactly"...when I really meant "not even close". Here's why: Banalities like "Live every day to the fullest" make my eyes glaze over. What does "to the fullest" really mean, anyway? It sounds exhausting to me. If I had to live Every. Single. Day. To the Fullest, I think I'd just go back to bed. It's too daunting.


When people say that, I know (think) they mean well, but it just feels so empty to me. I want them to be more present in the conversation. Living every day to the fullest sounds extremely stressful to me. Does that mean I can't take a nap? No Judge Judy in the afternoon? No casual dinner at that little Thai place on the corner? Their food is good but I don't know if it would qualify for the "every day fullest" award. So, Spinsterlicious does not describe some chick who can't relax because she's too busy being superlative. Spinserlicious means (being single, of course) enjoying the life you have...not dwelling on what's not there...having a leisurely glass of wine..."doing you" and not stressing about it. Much easier. My next rant? "Always do your best". (Just kidding). Is it just me? Am I over-reacting? Are there cliches that make your eyes cross? NOTE: If you like "Spinsterlicious" and want to be notified of new posts, please subscribe "Via Email" in the box on the right. You'll receive an email when there's a new blog post. Or "Like" Spinsterlicious on Facebook. Just click the button at the top of this page. Or "Follow Me" on Twitter (button on the right). Whatever you do, don't miss a Spinsterlicious update! Oh yeah. And don't forget to visit The Spinsterlicious Life SHOP! - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:E. Quogue, NY

14 comments:

arossello said...

I think all it could mean is, "No Judge Judy in the afternoon."

Michael Ann said...

Love your blog! I found it on a recommendation from She Writes. I'm not single but am contemplating divorce and my biggest fear is just living alone and being lonely. I'm lonely now though so which is better? I think your blog will give me the real scoop. Anyway...I just appreciate your presence here. Thank you.

Thinkin in my Head
The Big Green Bowl

eleanore said...

@Michael Ann: I applaud your courage. I know that change can be tough, but I also know that removing yourself from an unpleasant life situation can be empowering. New horizons, in time, can even be exciting. Being single isn't better or worse than being married, it's just different. I hope we can offer you some community, different points-of-view, and a few chuckles along the way. Welcome!

Traci Marie Wolf said...

I tend to be passive when it comes to peoples descriptions but I love your view of things. Holding people to talk about exactly what is there, rather then some fill in the blank cliche. I think I need to put more thought into what I say and hold people accountable as well.

melbourne dreaming said...

I know exactly what you mean - people tend to fall back on tired cliche's when they can't be bothered actually THINKING about what they're saying.

I hate most cliches, because they are lazy:

"You will meet someone when the time is right" (um, the right time would have been about 4 years ago!)

"There are plenty of fish in the sea" (have you been fishing recently? Don't tell me, I know the answer)

"As soon as [insert friend's name] stopped looking, she met her husband" (Good for her. I guess I'll just wait for Mr. Right to knock on my door while I'm watching Mad Men at home).

GRR! I know they mean well, but it's so lazy and thoughtless.

Thanks for letting me vent.... :)

Spinster Jane said...

What? No naps???? Damn...

Molly said...

Cliches I HATE.....

Journey - I just want to slap the person who tells me about their personal journey or wants to take me on a wine/fragrance/food journey. If it doesn't involve 1st class tkts to somewhere, it's not a journey!

Thinking out of the Box - Whenever someone tells me that they think out of the box, I want to comment that if they really did, they would be able to communicate without using tired old cliche expressions. It's an oxymoron in my brain.

Overall, I hate the bullshit generator - people who constantly throw in words and phrases such as, "platform" "paradigm shift" and "state of the art". The latest is "curate" as in "the Macy's shoe buyer curated the new fall boot collection."

Oh puleeze!

eleanore said...

@Molly: Oh boy! I am right there with you on each one of those!

Anonymous said...

I dunno, "Always do your best" sometimes (like these days) comes down to:
Get out of bed.
Get dressed, put make up and go to work.
Eat.
Try not to cry or yell at anyone.
Go to all your classes, it's not necessary to actually "teach" them, just be there.
Come home and lie on the couch while drinking wine.
If I manage to do anything else that's just a bonus. Some days what I wrote above is my best!
Other days my "best" is to chuck a sickie!
Stella

angie said...

So I'm going to have a glass of wine now and enjoy it to the fullest:).

Darlene said...

Well, different strokes for different folks. I like cliches because some of them give me inspiration/motivation! They are colorful way of saying things. Melbourne dreaming- I do not think that cliches are thoughtless of lazy.It's simply a choice of words that someone wants to use. That's all and that's it. I agree to disagree with you all on this one.
I remain, Spinsterlicious! :-)

Darlene said...

Well, different strokes for different folks. I like cliches because some of them give me inspiration/motivation! They are colorful way of saying things. Melbourne dreaming- I do not think that cliches are thoughtless or lazy.It's simply a choice of words that someone wants to use. That's all and that's it. I agree to disagree with you all on this one.
I remain, Spinsterlicious! :-)

Trenia said...

I just found your blog today via BlogHer, and what a breath of fresh air. I'm in my early 30's and learning how to enjoy life now is something I've been thinking a lot about lately.

I will be honest, I'm starting to panic about whether or not I will get married and have children. Some of my friends are married while others are making plans to freeze eggs or get IVF, just in case. I think the hardest part is being single when you don't want to be, there must be a way to make peace with it?

eleanore said...

@Trenia: Welcome to The Spinsterlicious Life! I'm glad you found us. I don't know if you should make peace with being single, necessarily. My philosophy is you should "make peace with the life you have...all of it". I think you should try to change the things you want to change but, in the meantime, you are where you are and I think you should figure out a way to get good with the present...because that's all you have. Try not to forget to celebrate what's working.