That crazy-like-a-fox hoochie on MTV’s The Jersey Shore—in an ironic and super unfair twist of fate—has what I want. No, not a ridiculous and embarrassing TV show, but lots of other things.
I feel like I’ve done all of the things a responsible adult should do (well, many of them, anyway): I graduated from college (twice), manage to keep a job, take good care of myself physically and financially, and don’t really bother anybody. Snooki gets drunk every day, pees outside, fights, and gets arrested for disorderly conduct. What’s more, I know all of this without having ever watched a single episode of the show. She’s so famous that her escapades are news and part of popular culture. She’s everywhere. Barbara Walters even chose her and her castmates for her list of 2010 Most Fascinating People.
I don’t care about the famous part. Here’s what’s making me just a little crazy. Snooki “wrote” a book and it made the New York Times Best Seller List! This, from a woman who claims never to have read a book. And this makes me crazy because I, too, have written a book. A book that, I’m told by many people, is insightful and funny and unique. Some of these people are in the publishing business; they “love the concept” but just don’t quite know what to do with it (how about publish it, for goodness sake?!) Snooki’s book? They know what to do with that. And that’s the problem. Noise has become more important than content.
And here’s the other reason I’m jealous of Snooki. Her outrageouness earned her a million dollars last year. I’ve been working since I was 15 and I earn a good living, but I’m tired. I’m ready to sleep in and work a few less hours. Actually a lot less hours. Part-time is what I’m aiming for. However, I can’t afford to live on half my salary. But if I, like Snooki, earned $1 million last year, I could afford to live on my part-time salary. But I didn’t earn close to that. I never used to care about what other people earned, but dear Snooki’s seven-figure salary is starting to bother me. I don’t want to get drunk every day (or pee outside) like Snooki. I just want to do less, like Snooki, and still get paid.
The world is upside down. Being loud and obnoxious and stupid is paying a lot more now than it used to. And don’t even get me started on those dim-witted Real Housewives series. I would have thought grown women would know better. Apparently not. And it hasn’t hurt them.
(Sigh.)
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8 comments:
Congratulations on writing a book that's well-received, regardless of its publication. I'm sure you know this, but the sheer number of people who "have been meaning to write a book" or "would like to write a book" or "started a book and never finished" is astronomical!
Snooki is loud and obnoxious, but hardly stupid. She's the one with the big bank account. Peeing outside is incredibly convenient, saves water and limits downtime during outdoors activities. Loud and obnoxious has some serious advantages. People hear you, take a moment to listen and if one has something important that other people need to know then one has done a community service. Snooki has written a book, but then again Sarah Palin has written a book. Ghost writing is profit-center for struggling authors and I wish them the best. What Snooki isn't is polite and ladylike. People are fascinated that Snooki commands an audience. I'm on the Snooki team, as I am a Snooki and proud of it. Ladylike behavior only gets one so far in life, although American culture will be more than happy to give a well-behaved lady an attaboy for the society-approved behavior.
Snooki's parents must be so proud watching their daughter getting drunk, urinating in public and grinding on strange men in bars. Real classy girl. Does cashing a paycheck make it all better?
What a perfect post, it's echoed my thoughts for years. Thank you.
It's such a sad commentary on our society that people like snooki are in the spotlight and being paid for simply being trash.
You said it girl. Please, take solace in the fact that while she is living it up, she will wake up one day wondering why she has a disease that can't be cured, you know the kind I mean . . . her face not holding up to her lifestyle, and the liver, brain and circulatory system of someone older by 20-30 years.
It's not sour grapes to mention this, just that being spinsterlicious does have it's perks.
So how about a taste of that book of yours. Inquiring minds, those of us that actually have one, would like to know. Congratulations!
Cant wait to see your book on the shelves. While I feel a bit of the same way you do about she who shall not be named, you rock her up, down and sideways...
@Ellie: Thanks for the compliment! Free autograph, I promise. :-)
HOLLY: Yes, cashing a paycheck DOES make it all better. But what's so bad about her behavior?
She doesn't go around threatening to cut your head off or hold a knife to your throat like Charlie Sheen does to his exes. And she's not a drug addict. Or a failure of a parent to 5 children.
Snookie is just an immature party girl in her 20s just like 90% of all girls in their 20s. It's not a very big deal.
And I agree with Cham, that she's a smart cookie. She's the highest paid actress/reality star on MTV and makes more money than her cast mates.
Being ladylike is not a symbol of success. Look at Princess Diana - she was as classy and ladylike as you can get and her life was upside down. She has a fake sham of a marriage. And her life ended in tragic disaster.
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