Last Saturday night, I found myself prowling the streets in search of food, drink, fun, and maybe even a guy. I wasn't alone, but my dear friend, Nameless, who was with me hated it so much she won't allow me to use her name...not even her initials. Here's what happened. I invited her to a comedy show where a guy I knew was performing. However, I screwed up the details and so we found ourselves all dressed up with nowhere to go. Actually, we weren't all dressed up; we were dressed pretty casually. If we had been all dressed up, we would have had more options.
Anyway, we tried to think of where we could go for a little fun, but we had a few criteria: good food, good drinks, inviting atmosphere, and a few grown-up guys we could flirt with without feeling like pedophiles. There are tons of places in NYC that fit the first few criteria, but the last one is what stumped us.
We weren't dressed cute enough to go to a few of the fancy places we thought of and I was sure that, if we tried, they'd hand us an apron and tray instead of directing us to the bar. So, we thought of a few second-tier locales, but when we got to each of them it was a let-down: no grown men inside and not a lot of fun going on. After the 4th or 5th place, we were starting to weary. Plus it was cold!
So here's the question: where do grown-ups hang out? Where can women of a certain age who are looking for a little action find men of a certain age? We're not going to the club. Those days are done. So where? It's wintertime so we must be especially strategic because desirable people aren't just out-and-about in this weather. The relationship I was in ended recently and so I'm back on the block, hoping to stumble across a gentleman who wants to spend a little time in my Spinsterlicious company. When I was young(er), this hunt was fun. That night, it felt ridiculous. Which is why Nameless insists on remaining that way.
I think I'm going to make that my new mission: finding respectable places where I'm not embarrassed to be seen standing at the bar, flirting with the fellas (older fellas, not young'uns), and having a laugh. I'm just not sure where that place is...but I intend to find out! I'm open to all suggestions; tell me what you know!
NOTE: If you like "Spinsterlicious" and want to be notified of new posts, please subscribe in the box on the right -or- if you have a Google Account, you can click on "Follow Me" also on the right, near the bottom. You'll receive an email each time there's an update to the blog. Don't miss a Spinsterlicious update!
6 comments:
Hi,
I have no idea where to hang out, if I did it'd only be in Melbourne anyway. But, last week I found out where not to hang out.
We'd all had dinner and then went to the pub next door because it was there (and this is not NYC), so I was not even looking for a nice older man to flirt with, however, the young boys there thought it'd be nice to hang out with a "cougar". I had no idea I was one! Help!
Sad and pathetic.
I think the key is going to the more established, less trendy places. Places like the Four Seasons restaurant bar, as well as the swanky - but established - hotels. For casual spots, think Balthazar - hip but been around a long time. If you think about older guys, they're more set in their ways, they don't want the busy hustle bustle of "in" spots, they want the comfort of places they already know.
Just my opinion.......
Um, the library. I'm not kidding at all. We have this Library Director here in Baltimore, she's blowing the lid off the free public library. Almost every evening there is a popular author who is pushing some recently written tome who is invited to speak about whatever issue float their boat. Hot button topics are the best for men like crime, poverty, prisons, careers, real estate, juvenile challenges, etc. If you want to find a good looking educated urban-oriented man who is invested in the community and smart as a whip, this is where they are.....standing in the back ready to start a conversation with just about anyone. Of course, you have to bring your own knowledge to the table with these men, they're on point. They'll be happy to buy you a coffee afterward to discuss deep thoughts after the talk and learn much more about you. Very fun!
This is a good question! I don't know that there is a good answer to this. The older you get, the more rare it is to go out just to "go out". Like you said, you originally had an intentional plan -- but that plan failed you.
Have you tried looking on meetup.com? I swear by it. There are meetup for all different types and what is cool is you can see who will be there before you go . . . so you get an idea of the composition of the group by looking at their bios before attending.
Of course, not all events are spontaneous -- and so not really a solution for a last minute situation.
In most cities finding someplace to go when you are looking for a more mature crowd can be difficult. In New York I think you do have some options, like a Jazz club in the Village, or a nice upscale hotel bar. But ,trying to balance mature crowd against old and stuffy can be tough. Next time you're in a bind call me, and I'll come hang out with you and your friend.
Post a Comment