Monday, January 3, 2011

Married? Spinsterlicious? Simply Single? Decisions,Decisions.

There was an article by Tara Parker-Pope in Sunday's (1/2/11) New York Times about how marriage is changing.   From time immemorial, married folks stayed together for reasons that had nothing to do with being happy.   Apparently, people were more likely to stay together for reasons having to do with religion, the kids, societal/familial pressures...or just plain inertia.   But that's changing.   According to Parker-Pope, people now want a marriage where the relationship is meaningful and satisfying.   I say "now" but maybe that's what most have always wanted.  The difference is that it's now of paramount importance -vs.- a nice-to-have. 


In 2010, there were a multitude of conversations about "being married" and "being single": discussions in newspapers and magazines, on television news and talk shows, online, and in personal conversations.   This is new.   Marriage used to be assumed; it's wahat grown-ups did.   I don't quite know what all these conversations mean, but it got me to thinking (again): My Life - Married vs Single? 



Drawing Courtesy of brideinsight.com

It's a new year and a time where we're prone to self-reflection.   So I thought it might be interesing, fun, and/or thought-provoking to consider this and have you join me:  My life now -and- my life as it might have been had I gotten married (and for you married ladies, the opposite).  Fill in the blanks.  I'll go first:


By Being Single...I've had the freedom to do pretty much whatever I wanted without having to consider how it would impact someone else's life

If I Was Married...my handsome, caring, and wise husband would have made all the tough decisions for me (car stuff, mortgage stuff, contractor stuff, and when to take me off the ventilator)

Now... your turn.  Fill in the blanks.

If you're single (including divorced)
By Being Single...       -and-      If I Was Married...


If you're married
By Being Married...    -and-  If I Was Single...


Be smart, funny, snarky, provocative, light-hearted; your choice.  Please keep each to a sentence or two, though; no long solioquies.  That's the challenge.


Come on:  I wanna hear from everybody!



NOTE:  If you like "Spinsterlicious" and want to be notified of new posts, please (re)subscribe in the box on the right -or- if you have a Google Account, you can click on "Follow Me" also on the right, near the bottom.   You'll receive an email each time there's an update to the blog.  (It's a new service; if you registered earlier, you'll have to do it again.  Sorry...and Thanks)
-----

8 comments:

KTT said...

By Being Single....I get to focus on me, and when I want something I get it, regardless how frivolous it may seem.
If I Was Married....my super sweet and hot husband would tell me everyday how sexy and beautiful I am, even on the off days when I'm shoving chocolate down my thraot. :)
That's mind. And that's actually what I want if I ever decide to remarry. LOL

Cham said...

By Being Single.....I get to enjoy my many many hobbies, be a leader in a specific technology field, find new and creative ways to use the Internet to perform research and use my mapping skills to spread information to the masses as well as encourage others to explore new ways of looking at various subjects.

If I were married..... I wouldn't be doing any of the above and my house chore workload would double.

Candice said...

By Being Married - I always have to think about things for the 2 of us. When I'm not hungry, he wants dinner yet still hasn't found the kitchen. Aarrgh. However, I married a man who doesn't stop me from doing what I want to do - be it going out w/ my girlfriends or heading to Paris a few times a year without him.

If I were single - I'd probably be 10 pounds thinner and be at the gym. I'd definitely flirt more. However, I wouldn't have someone to come home to and share my stories with.

Dana Brooks said...

When I started to reflect upon this question I had to stop...For me it hurt!!
I'm just not okay yet with STILL being single....I didn't "sign" up for this. With all the freedom and other positive things I can think to say, I want a great relationship in marriage with a strong, kind, and understanding man.....
This is my truth *

eleanore said...

@Dana: That was beautifully said...and obviously very honest. I want that for you, too. And I kinda want it for myself, though not necessarily within the context of marriage. I hope 2011 will be your year!

Josie said...

By being single I get to have the house as (anally) tidy as I like!
If I was married I could get as many hugs as I day as I like. (The dog's good for a hug but it's not the same.)

Anonymous said...

Being single, I really prefer marriage! We know each has it's pros and cons but I really liked marriage. In singledom, I like that I can come and go without questions or explanations or considerations and I do like having the house to myself mostly, but there is something to be said for having someone to go home to/someone to come home to you, that is as long as you are still in love. aunt danny

Ms Lupita said...

First I have to say I love your blog, so much so I have gone and started at the beginning. Second, I can't be spinsterlicious, because I have three beautiful and amazing children. But I am single at the moment, and enjoying life. And I'm constantly wondering if I want to get married again or if I want to stay single. You seem to have found this wonderful balance, which I totally envy. I figure at some point I'll figure it all out, in the mean time I'll enjoy my partial spinsterliciousness. Thanks for the inspiration.