Forever Young...or Immature?

So, yes, I’m pretty pleased with my Spinsterlicious life...but maybe I’m a little nuts, too.  I dunno.  My friend, Lorraine, has an adorable son, AJ.   One day he asked his parents,  “Is Auntie Eleanore a grown-up?”  I loved it because I was sure he was implying, “she’s so youthful and cool and fun,  she couldn’t possibly be as old as you two are!”  (His parents are actually younger than me).  Alas, turns out he was saying something really different.   What he meant was “…because she doesn’t have a husband or any children”.   Uh-oh.  Even at 4 years old, he understood that I hadn’t done what I was supposed to.  (Sigh).

Fast forward a few years.  The New York Times Magazine recently ran an article "What Is It About Twenty-Somethings" by Robin Marantz Henig  (http://nyti.ms/cta9uH)  that talks about the traditional transition to adulthood as having five milestones:  completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying, and having a child!  WTF!?  I’m stuck at stage three.  So AJ isn’t the only one who thinks I'm not a grown-up.  

I never really liked too much being told what to do and I find this  blurry, undefined existence to be freeing.  When you buck major traditions, there’s not a lot of rules you have to follow.  If you’re supposed to get married and have children, and you don’t…well, it’s kinda wide open. 

A guy I used to date who really wanted to get married used to complain that I lived like a college student.  What was it?  The lack of food in my refrigerator?  Not making my bed? No ironing board? Because I’m using the same pots I bought when I graduated from college?   He went on to marry and drive another woman crazy.    I, on the other hand, like this prolonged adolescence…especially since there’s no acne or curfew.   Maybe that’s what’s keeping me young.

So, now I’m wondering: what really makes a “grown-up”?