For too many single women, Valentine’s Day is a loud reminder that they have no man (or woman, in some cases) to love. It’s a loud reminder of their sad, lonely lives…even though most days their lives are not very sad and not that lonely. On Valentine’s Day it is. And the lead-up to it is fraught with anxiety because “whatever will she do” on this day when couples all over the country are celebrating? (Even though that isn’t really happening).
When I was a kid, I loved Valentine’s Day. I got such a kick out of giving out Valentine’s Day cards with big red hearts to all the people who made me happy. I gave them to my parents, my teachers, favorite classmates, my playmates, even the mailman. Back then Valentine’s Day was fun, and it was an excuse to tell the people who make you happy how much they mean to you. Romance had nothing to do with it. I was 10.
Since I started this blog, I’ve received lots of emails from single women expressing angst about Valentine’s Day. It seems to be even more anxiety –provoking than New Year’s Eve. We need to change that.
Just like the long Christmas season has become less religious (for many) and more of a good excuse excuse to (re)connect with people, Valentine’s Day can be less about romance and become an opportunity to remind people or tell them for the first time that you like them…enjoy them…they matter to you.
When I’m not in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, I like to have a fun dinner with people who make me laugh. Not a gloomy, woeful dinner with whiny people who are miserable about being single, but interesting and delightful people who happen to be single…single for now or for forever.
And this is what I recommend for everybody. Let’s reclaim Valentine’s Day and experience it the way we did when we were kids by injecting some lightheartedness into this day so fraught with emotion. Buy a pack of Valentine’s Day cards and give them to anybody and everybody you want. Get together with good people and enjoy yourself and each other. Let’s make Valentine’s Day about love and luv, not just romance…love of great people in your life…love of laughter…love of life. And you don’t need a date for that! Plus, it's fun and will feel real good!
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14 comments:
I love that you pointed out the very obvious - most couples are not celebrating Valentine's Day like we would like to believe.
That I know!
come to think of it - Valentine's Day WAS the best as a child.
This is basically what I do already. I make cards for my friends and send them. Then I take myself to a movie all on my own. I don't dread valentine's day anymore. Except sometimes in the my-cards-aren't-ready-and-it's-two-days-away sense.
I love the part when you shared how you celebrated Valentine's Day as a 10-year-old. I did the exact same thing and cherished receiving Valentine's greetings from classmates. If I got one from a boy, I recall not blinking an eye thinking he had a crush on me. I was just honored and tickled pink that he included me on his greetings list :)
Here, here! I love it. I never get all sad around Valentines day but I never made it special for myself either. I have already vowed that later in the week I am taking myself to dinner, possibly a movie and buying myself nice. No idea what it will be yet but I think treating myself on V day bc I love myself is in order.
There's nothing to dread about this type of day. I actually fail to see the romanticism in the holiday. I'm just so taken aback by all the ads that encourage people to "buy buy buy" - it's actually an "unromantic day" in my opinion due to everyone's belief that you have to get a red card or box of candy from someone. I've never understood how spending a lot of money on one day proves your love to someone. Single folks love yourselves on this day -what you feel about your own self will always matter more than any pink stuffed animal you'll ever receive on such a day.
Three years ago I shifted my perspective on Valentine's Day to celebrating ALL the love in my life, including love and acceptance for myself. I usually have a party in February with a broader love theme and on "the day" I'm with friends. We don't have to get caught up in other people's misguided concern for us single women. I have so much love in my life, and I'm so grateful!
Funny how it takes some growing up to really stop obsessing over Valentine's Day already! I'm 40 now and I really don't even think about it at all other than the basics...Getting together a great red top and some funky red jewelry to wear...I love my dog, I'm grateful for my life and I love it, and overall, it's just a great day to show people you care. ;-)
I'm 27 years old and I still buy those packs of cards and hand them out to people I work with. I also buy a bunch of Valentines gifts for my best friend. We're always each other's Valentines, men in our lives or not.
When I'm single on Valentine's Day I like to stay in, eat anything I feel like, and congratulate myself on not having to go out in the bad weather in heels, but I'm a bit of a hermit that way!
My mom is 86 and she still buys those little school valentines and passes them out to the grandchildren, and now the many great grandchildren.
I always feel sorry for the guys around Valentine's Day - and Christmas for that matter. Every time you turn on the TV or open a magazine there are ads everywhere for diamonds, jewelry, candy...whatever. What pressure! When I'm in a relationship, I'd rather be surprised on any other day of the year by a gift or thoughtful gesture, than an obligatory gift on a commercialized day.
It's long been my favorite holiday to celebrate those I love - mostly my children these days. We get one of the heart-shaped pizzas and dine by candlelight in the kitchen. So fun!
This year I asked my three single girl friends to come out for dinner. Why should Valentines be only for the couples of the world!
My single girlfriends & I go on dates too.....and its never miserable - we enjoy ourselves. And i guarantee that we always have more fun that the couples that surround us!! ;)
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