Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Don't Worry, Be Happy.

Don't worry. Be Happy.  Or something like that.  I read an article last Sunday in the  NYTimes about how a little bit of fretting is good for us.  Not a lot of fretting; a little bit.  The article is mostly about how dread is what spurs us on to take steps to get us out of an anticipated horrible situation.

The part that really caught my eye, though, was about how situations that we think are going to be horrible usually don't turn out to be nearly as bad as we thought they'd be.  I can think of 1000s of my own real-life examples where this was true, but the one that comes of my mind most is this:


When I was younger, I would keep a diary from time to time.  I was never good at it because I would get bored with it pretty quickly and usually end up tossing it aside after a few entries.  One day I came across a tossed-aside diary and started flipping through it.  It was about 2 years old.  As I was reading it, I came upon a page where I was in complete and utter despair.  I was heartbroken over some guy and the words that poured out were just so full of anguish.  My gosh, as I read it I felt so sorry for the girl I had been at that time.  I was clearly devastated and apparently couldn't imagine how life would ever be good again.  How would I get through this?


And here's the best part: even though only 2 years had passed, I couldn't figure out who it was that I was all broken up about. I couldn't remember who the guy was!!  At the time I was writing it, I didn't mention him by name probably because I assumed it would be obvious.  And just a short time later, he had ceased to exist.  Amazing.


Then I got excited.  Who was this MF who had gotten me all worked up?  I called a girlfriend.  "Who was I dating then that would have upset me like that?"  We wracked our brains going through the guys we could think of but none fit.  


Just like the article said, however miserable I thought I would become without this guy clearly hadn't happened.  I didn't even remember him.  I wish somebody had known to tell the "devastated me" that I wouldn't even remember this guy in a really short time. Of course I wouldn't have believed it…but now I always remind myself of that story.  And that's why people (who aren't terminally ill) shouldn't commit suicide.  Chances are you'll get over whatever it is that's making you nuts at that moment. Honest.


Do you have a story of how you got all bent out of shape over the possibility of something horrible happening…and then shortly after it happened you were fine?  I wanna hear about it. 






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5 comments:

Christina said...

HAHA! I love this post!! I really need to remember it, because I am a total catastrophizer. It's kind of my talent. = )

And you're right, lots of things I look back on and think, "Wow, was I really that upset?"

If you remember who it was, write an update post. = )

Christina

Christina said...

Hm, the above comment is actually Christina from Onely. Speaking of recalling something you can barely remember, I accidentally commented from an old personal blogger account from probably six years ago, which I completely forgot I had!

Yikes. The internet apparently never forgets. .
CC

Anonymous said...

OMG I'm losing my mind. I did it again. = )
Christina

eleanore said...

@Christina: we should both always remember this lesson!

Ms Lupita said...

I think something always happens in our lives that causes us to freak out, only to have the complete opposite happen. Its real at that moment, but how you tell yourself that tomorrow it will not be important or that a month from now it wont make a difference or that two years from now you wont even remember the event in question?