My Virtual Family

Have you guys met my new family?  That's them in the drawing.  My husband, my daughter, and my son.  I think I'll call him Jeff; I haven't decided, yet, what to call the kids, but I imagine I'll get around to it at some point. 

It's funny, while I've spent all my years believing that I didn't need these additional people in my life, I may have been
wrong. Time and time again, I am presented with situations where everything would be better --at least temporarily--
if I had a husband and/or a kid or two. So, after resisting it for all these years, I've given in.  I went and got myself a
family.  Here's why:

• On a regular basis, I am expected to do something or be somewhere that I don't want to do or be.  I usually just say "I can't", but sometimes it's not that easy.  What I've noticed is that my friends regularly use their spouse and/or kids as an excuse to get them out of undesirable situations.  "I'm sorry, my kid has a fever/a soccer game/an important test that day."   "Gee, I can't because my husband will be away/has a commitment/is a grouch"...whatever.  It doesn't really even matter what the reason is; the point is that a spouse or kid is a perfectly acceptable reason to get you out of anything you want to be nicely gotten out of.  Nobody questions it.  On the other hand, when I say "no", I have to wrack my brain to come up with a creative and airtight story because people have no qualms whatsoever about trying to poke holes in my excuse until they get me to "yes".  A family-related excuse is untouchable. Any other "no" is open for debate.

• From time to time, I find myself in a somewhat uncomfortable situation where I'm struggling to establish a relationship with another woman and I'm not having a lot of success.  When it's a social situation, it's too bad but it's less of a big deal, but sometimes it's business, which makes it a little different.  As you know, much of what happens in a business situation is based on relationships and if I'm not getting any traction, then that can be a problem that matters.  I spoke about this with my good friend, Charlene, who is also a colleague. We are often in the same setting, both social and business, but I'm usually the only one getting tripped up trying to connect with a new woman.  Charlene and I are, obviously, not clones, but we are a lot alike in many ways so I've often been confounded that she is able to connect with many of these same women who are giving me blank looks.  She's noticed it, too.  She says that whenever things get off to a slow start with a new acquaintance, she just brings up the husband and/or kids.  It's kind of like guys and sports.  Something to connect over that's universal.  Except it isn't.  Not for me. 

So these are just two reasons why I've decided to create a virtual family for myself.   My husband and kids will get me out of some things and in to others. Nobody has to know they're not real.  Shhhh.



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